


The Fables of Beasts

by KiraNightshade44



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha Rey, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Badass Kylo Ren, Badass Rey, Complete, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Short Story, Tattoos, Time Skips, Violence, action and adventure, spies in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:49:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26740903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraNightshade44/pseuds/KiraNightshade44
Summary: Rey paused by the boardwalk, her senses honing to a fine point as the prickling intensified in her glands. She gazed at the vendor stands, at the nearby alleyways and streetcars, and then down the boulevard, where couples walked hand in hand and children flitted by on skateboards and wheelie shoes.She could not see them yet, but they were certainly nearby. She could sense them in her hindbrain. Could sense him.Rey has evaded her past for two years, but as she well knows, some things just won't stay buried forever.***COMPLETE
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 178





	1. Pacific Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovely readers!
> 
> Welcome to another trashfic! What can I say, I had to at least *attempt* to take on A/B/O. I have always loved the stories where Rey is an Alpha and can kick some serious ass. Just always feels like authentic Rey to me, even if Omegas are saucy and fun ;)
> 
> There is some violence and dark content in this fic, but it does have HEA. This fic is *almost* complete, so updates should be pretty regular. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On her neck, her glands began to itch.
> 
> Rey laughed under her breath, even though there wasn’t much behind it. Of course her gland was itching now. He was nearby. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Image - Star Wars: The Force Awakens drawing by James Holko Art.

_Present day._

_I will always find you._

Rey stared up at the black letters on the wall with no expression at all. Perhaps she was in shock, though the grim half of her mind most consumed with survival did not really think so. Rather, she felt calm and relieved. She knew they were coming. She had known it the moment she left the compound, two years ago. This was just a confirmation and there was some relief to be had in finality, even if she was not glad for it. 

On the outside, she was like a glassy lake at the threshold of full dark, as she scanned the words over and over again with unnerving calmness. Her apartment had been ransacked. Destroyed. Even her bed was cut to pieces. Art pieces she had collected had been slashed. The zany red clock she had found on a second-hand store for her kitchen was broken in a thousand pieces on the floor. Boot prints in seven different sizes – each one catalogued in the grim, cold part of her mind that was still trained to do these things – lined her once pristine floors. None of her worldly possessions had escaped brutality. 

To anyone else who looked at the wreckage that had, for a short while, once served as her home, they would assume the people who had done this had acted out in a blind rage.

Rey knew better.

This was surgery. Neat and simple. He – and the others - had methodically carved away the façade she had been clinging to; her mask with which she passed through the world of cattle, cleaving to the fantasy that she could be one of them. That she could pass for a kind, gentle creature.

The truth was that she was not kind or gentle. Not really. Her training had ensured this, the same as his. Her fucking _designation_ ensured this, done to the marrow of her bones. She was no different than them, at least at her most basic, animalistic level. The only difference was that she had _chosen_ to leave it all behind and this – surgery – was their way of telling her that she was living a lie.

The past always catches up with us, whether we like it or not. 

On her wrist, beneath her green cardigan and a thick watch she used to cover it up, was a number. It was roughly the size of a walnut and positioned perfectly in the center of her inner wrist.

**_11_ **

She had taken great pains to ignore that mark for the last few years. The number on her wrist was a sign of captivity, a talisman from a past she knew she would spend the rest of her life fleeing from. 

Rain splashed against the windows and lightning forked the sky, illuminating her for what she was; a wolf standing in a den of make-belief. Because he was right. He was always going to find her. It was always just a matter of time before he caught her scent, before he tracked her down to drag her back home. Back to the compound, back to the world of contracts and assassinations. To where they had been tortured, beaten, and brainwashed into becoming the killing machines they are today.

Worst of all, though, she could smell him here. She could scent the others too, but it was his scent – always and forever his fucking _scent_ – that she could smell. That scent – why, even on her deathbed, she would be able to recite the exact notes of it, like it was something she would always carry with her. A sliver of glass under her fingernail, stinging sharp and sweet when pressed a certain way.

Rey blew a slow breath through her nostrils and then turned on her heel, leaving her apartment behind. If they were going to take her within the next day or so, then she was going to do a few things first.

She left the door open on her way out.

*

Two days had passed since Rey found her apartment torn apart and she had been busy, indeed. Her hair was now cut short to her chin in a wavy bob. The strands were platinum blonde, almost grey. Her right nostril had a steel ring in it, the skin still a little red from its fresh piercing yesterday. Her arms, fingers, legs, and torso were covered in an assortment of ink.

It was not a disguise she was looking for. They had her scent, so they would be able to find her no matter if she dyed her skin green and shaved her head.

This was a metamorphosis.

When she had approached the tattoo artist yesterday morning, dropping over ten grand on his counter and telling him to cancel his other appointments and cover her in as many tattoos as possible, he had told her that she would faint from the pain before he and his team got halfway through.

She never fainted, of course.

Her skin ached, much like getting a really bad sunburn, but that type of pain was nothing to her. The end result would be worth it when she was finally caught. Snoke liked to dress her up to play the part. He liked her hair long and straightened, to accentuate her silky brown locks. He liked her flawless skin, her untainted purity. 

This was what made her an excellent killer, Snoke loved to tell those he contracted her out to. No one ever suspected this small, pretty little thing to be a huntress with sharp claws and equally sharp teeth.

Really, Rey knew she was just a doll to him. A dangerous doll, but a doll nonetheless.

“Not anymore,” she murmured quietly, almost merrily, staring down at her healing ink.

Flowers, vines, and trees looped across both arms. A fox with a Venetian mask was rendered across the entirety of her upper right thigh, in looping swirls of red and indigo ink. A snake coiled its way up her left leg, disappearing up the hem of her skirt. Her back was adorned with a large monarch butterfly, in jagged dark lines that shifted with her movements, lending it a life-like appearance that was almost eerie. Her fingers were decorated with the symbols of the elements and on her left hand, she had a large rose blossoming from her wrist up to her knuckles. Every one of her new tattoos was more beautiful than the last, true works of art, and she was happy to give up her body as the canvas.

Her body had been used for much worse in the past. 

A death machine, as efficient and effective as advanced-stage cancer. But she was not that person anymore. The habits and training might be ingrained in her for the rest of her life, the instincts might always pervade upon her in times of anger, fear, and stress, but she would never allow _them_ to use her in that way again. She would rather die.

Hopefully, when they caught her, the tattoos and hair would communicate that quite efficiently.

Rey sat on the beach alone, in a simple pretty sundress and a pair of sandals as she watched the tide come in. She had gotten several long glances from passersby as they took her in fresh ink and she smiled to herself, pleased despite the faint pain in her skin. Seagulls whooped and cried at one another, fighting over small treasure troves of hotdogs and French fries tourists had left behind. The sky was a clear and flawless blue. The Pacific was blue too, only it was much darker. 

The ocean had been all she wanted when she came to California. That glitter of navy blues.

She watched the waves for a while before getting up and dusting herself off. After today, she might not see the ocean again. If they did not kill her and she did not kill them, they were certainly not going to let her out of the compound for a while. Or ever again, most likely.

Surprisingly, this thought did not bother her so much. There was nothing they could take from her now, except her life, and now that she had taken full ownership over that too, they had nothing. It was all just blood, bones, and tissue in the end. Her mind was hers.

On her neck, her glands began to itch.

Rey laughed under her breath, even though there wasn’t much behind it. Of course her glands were itching now. _He_ was nearby. 

After she had escaped The Order the second time, her journey had eventually led her to sunny California and the deep blue sea. She had stolen cash from offshore accounts, a neat little trick one of her fellow Knights had once taught her. She did not feel an ounce of guilt over it – these were the same offshore accounts used by the rich and privileged men who ruled the world. They would never be able to track her and she had been so much dust on the wind by that point, utterly hidden from The Order for that short, sweet while. 

Once she had found an apartment where the landlord was willing to accept cash, no questions asked, she had gone to work on the implant in her arm. After five hours of self-surgery, and nearly passing out from blood loss twice, she had managed to remove it. The scar was almost faded now, lost under all her new tattoos.

Alphas heal fast and she was no different, of course.

The implant was a tracker, a suppressant, and birth control, all in one. She had always found the latter laughable. It was not as though they were ever allowed to fuck anyone. At least, not officially.

 _No,_ Rey thought, at herself more than anything. _You’re not going to think about it. Or him. Especially not him. Not now._

But that did not stop the instincts that came with her rare designation. Nor the urges. 

Especially now, with the implant removed, it was almost on cue that her glands gave a fluttering twitch under her skin, prickling with heady knowing. She walked through the sand, ignoring a bead of sweat dripping from her temple to her chin. Slick would surely follow, which was the last thing she needed right now, but she might have one more play to make. One last-ditch effort, until she could squirrel away again. Maybe somewhere south, like Argentina or Bolivia.

Rey paused by the boardwalk, her senses honing to a fine point as the prickling intensified in her glands. She gazed at the vendor stands, at the nearby alleyways and streetcars, and then down the boulevard, where couples walked hand in hand and children flitted by on skateboards and wheelie shoes. 

She could not see them yet, but they were certainly nearby. She could sense them in her hindbrain. Could sense _him_.

Rey walked up the boulevard, to a small motorcycle parked near the boardwalk. She climbed on, grabbing the helmet hanging off the handle and fastening it on. She could still feel their eyes on her and as she took off up the lane, her skirt shifting with the breeze, that feeling persisted.

She could feel him most of all, of course. His gaze was a heady weight, sticking to the fresh sweat on her skin and coiling sweetly in her guts. The pressure was fleeting but undeniable. She knew what she would find if she checked her underwear right now. Hell, slick was probably all over the motorcycle seat now.

But she could not afford distractions.

She was being followed and now the chase was well and truly on.

*

Every Alpha in North America was sent to the compound - the few who were born these days, that is. 

Rey, or Knight 11 as Snoke called her, had been one of them. 

The smallest Alpha in her recruitment pool and one of the most ruthless as well, she had been taken from her parents when she was barely old enough to walk and talk. Her size never really changed, but she had more than made up for it with her ferocity. It had to be that way, or else she would have never survived her training.

She was quick, agile, and cunning. She could hide out for hours in just about any terrain, laying traps for her foe and picking them off one by one. What she lacked in physical strength, she more than made up for in resilience, patience, and intelligence.

 _My sturdy little 11,_ Snoke often said to his Generals whenever he had his Knights all lined up before him, in a nice neat line so he could inspect them all.

Rey had always hated those insufferable line ups.

She could not remember her parents or anything before the compound. There was only training, only her fellow Alphas, and the Elders. It was a great honour to survive basic training and make it on to become a Knight for The Order. Those operating in the shadows and secrecy, hidden even from most branches of the government.

But such an honour came at a price.

Rey had been apart of the unit that had gone into a village in Libya and decimated the entire population there. Women, children, the old and young. Innocents, all dead.

She could not hack it anymore. Perhaps that was a weakness. Perhaps she would die for her defection. But at least she knew that she had ended it with them when she still had the chance to retain some of her humanity. That they had not taken it all from her. 

That she could at least be grateful for. 

For two years, she hid. Taking transport ships across the ocean, hopping onto supply planes, and hiding in cargo. She was small; even as a grown woman, she could tuck herself just about anywhere.

But she was not hiding now.

Behind her, the bluffs fell away to a steep drop of about fifty feet. The sandbar lay below, along with several large, jagged rocks. She did not spend too much time peering down at what was likely to be her final resting place, broken down there amongst the rocks and seashells. She was far more concerned with keeping her eyes on the small footpath through the rocks.

From here, there was only one way they could come at her. She had the high ground. It was not much, barely an incline, but it would give her a slight advantage. Behind her was a chain of caves that eventually led down to the highway. She had thoroughly explored this area so that in the event they came for her, she would be ready.

Rey cocked her .45, leaned in between two rocks across from the drop, and waited, the skirt of her dress billowing with the wind. A light sheen of sweat made her skin glow in the half-light of dusk. Although Alpha females did not experience a true heat like their Omega counterparts, they still suffered through their own milder version of it. 

Her glands itched and tingled, and she knew. They were here. They were close. They were almost on top of her.

She broke out in goosebumps, though this was more of an animal reaction than anything to do with nerves. Inside, she was fortified. Ready and calm against what might come. Every possibility had occurred to her. Every outcome.

They would kill her.

Or they would beat her and bring her back.

Or she would kill them and keep running.

Those were her options and she had made her peace with them. For the most part.

_Do you really think you’ll kill him when it comes down to it?_

This was that traitorous - and to her own consternation - yearning voice in her mind. It had been there for a while now. Ever since him. Ever since… 

Rey looked out to the ocean, almost wistful as she kept her gun trained on the ground, her slender hands wrapped around the cold, lethal metal. With her Alpha senses stretched thin, it was not long before she heard their footfalls coming down the pathway. 

Coming for her.


	2. Beechwood and Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You got cocky, 11,” he murmured to her, his voice a deep rasp that immediately set her nerves on fire. 
> 
> Her struggling slowly ceased as she stared back at him, her hazel eyes flitting all over his strangely handsome face.
> 
> “So, do it, 1. What are you waiting for?” Rey spat at him. 
> 
> A chance encounter during a training drill might prove to be Rey's undoing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, some violence in this chapter between our main characters. 
> 
> This story is set in somewhat of a dystopia. I think of John Wick quite a bit with this actually - a secret society of spies and assassins that exist below the perception of the wider society. Also, here is more art for you because I love my visuals! :D
> 
> First Image - credited to alicexz.tumbler.com  
> Second Image - "Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren" comics (Charles Soule and Will Sliney). Kind of picture Rey as the Knight in the far back, on the right side.

__

__

_Two years earlier._

Rey went through her warm-up exercises, just like all the other Knights around her. Squats, pushups, planks, situps, crunches, chin-ups - all these exercises went by in a blur for her now. 

She went through her last set of planks, the muscles in her wiry arms popping out and sweat dripping onto the cement floor a foot away from her face. She could hold the plank for two minutes without feeling too much strain in her muscles, which was impressive considering ninety per cent of the Alphas here outweighed her by a hundred pounds. 

Rey never really concerned herself with beating the others’ records. Pissing contests were never her forte, which might have been strange, considering her designation. Then again, she never really considered herself a typical Alpha. 

In the corner of her eye, she could feel some of the others watching her. The nape of her neck prickled with awareness and the moment she released her form, the growl that tore from her lips had less to do with the strain of the exercise and much more to do with telling them to _fuck off_. 

Knights 13 and 21 laughed - easily the two most obnoxious Alphas in the retainer. 

She ignored them and walked over to her towel, wiping the sweat from her face and neck. Their taunting was nothing new. The others had set about torturing her the moment she set foot in The Order, as a young girl barely able to walk and talk. She had learned early on the value of ignoring them, especially when she figured out how to kick their annoying asses. 

“Gather round, Knights. We shall announce today’s opponents for the drill.” 

Rey glanced up to see Master Dooku with a datapad in his hand, his gaze trained on the gloomy training floors below. She had to fight not to roll her eyes. Master Dooku always spoke to them like an English schoolmarm, though she had learned early on that it was unwise to taunt him on the subject. One of the Knights had once asked the Elder if he was using the British “we” and that Knight had proceeded to spend the next two weeks in the hospital wing with a dislocated jaw. 

Just as Rey put down her towel, someone brushed past her, grazing her arm and hip. Teeth bared, she whipped around to see who had managed to sneak up on her only to see the back of a very familiar head. He did not look back at her, or acknowledge that he had brushed past her, which was pretty typical considering who it was. 

Knight 1. The Commanding Knight. The Alpha of Alphas. 

Large and imposing, built with pure muscle and his skin so pale it was alabaster. Marble-creamy. His hair was black, wispy waves brushing his broad shoulders, and his eyes were dark brown. Whiskey and umber. His features were sensual, uneven, distinctive. A study of a Greek hero, or an Aboriginal Chief, depending on which way the sunlight was hitting his face. 

Mythical in status, Knight 1 was held in higher regard than all the other Knights. He was also Snoke’s favourite and had been hand-chosen as the Commanding Knight, which meant that while he was not an Elder, he was treated with almost as much reverence. 

Even when they were children, he was the tallest, the biggest, the strongest. All of them had known what he would become, even back then. There were others who contended for his spot over the years. Most of them were in the ground now, having been beaten so easily. So carelessly. Others, he left with their lives (if not all their limbs) if only to teach the rest of them a lesson - he did not spare the rod or pull punches. If any of them went into a Rut and attempted to challenge his authority, they were punished. Swiftly. He never took pity on any of them, least of all her and for that, she respected him more than the others.

But that would not stop Rey from beating the shit out of him if she had to.

“On the course today, we will begin with…” Master Dooku paused and then the datapad lit up to project two numbers in the air. He did not need to read them for Rey to close her eyes and hiss between her teeth. “Knights 1 and 11. Make your way to the course below, Knights. We shall begin the drill in five minutes.”

Several Knights craned their heads to look back at Rey, whistling lowly. 

“Nice knowing you, 11,” Knight 13 drawled. 

Rey did not dignify that with a response and silently made her way down the stairs to the south entrance of the course. It was not the drill that she was dreading so much, but who she had been called with. 

When she glanced back, she saw that familiar head of hair moving through the crowded room to the north entrance, because he was easily the tallest thing in the room. He briefly met her gaze, and although he did not jeer at her like the others, she could see the raw determination - the raw _Alpha_ \- in his eyes. 

She was fucked. 

*

The Knights’ training drills were the same every week. When they weren’t out on missions, Sundays and Mondays were kept aside for weapons training and reconnaissance. Tuesdays and Thursdays were for archival studies, leaving Saturdays for meditation and combat simulations. 

Which left Wednesdays' drills - the maze. 

The maze was easily the least popular training drill. Two numbers would be drawn - the Knights’ official designation within The Order - and then those two Knights were sent into the maze from opposite sides of the chambers, North and South. The maze was built from wood and concrete, and was poorly lit and notoriously full of traps that were changed out every week so the Knights could not prepare for the drill in advance. Some of the traps included tripwires, poison darts, hidden sentries that shot rubber bullets, and an assortment of other nasty surprises. 

In addition to fighting off the other Knight, of course. 

They were given no weapons and no time limit. The goal was simple. A small red bull’s eye was placed in a different spot in the maze each week. The first Knight to find the bull’s eye won. By any means necessary.

Rey usually had no problem winning this challenge. The maze was about stealth and agility – two areas she did exceedingly well in. Her size played into her advantage, but she was also relatively even-tempered - at least as far as Alphas went. She was patient, cunning, and observant, which were not quintessential Alpha traits, to say the least. Where the others would barrel their way through the maze, making a shit ton of noise in an attempt to intimidate their opponent, she was as quiet and surreptitious as an Egyptian asp. All she had to do was keep quiet and be quick, and she usually won without any issues. 

That was against most of the other Alphas. Until today, she had not had to contend with _him_. In fact, she could not recall a single time in which she had been assigned to the maze with him. Not once. 

So when numbers 1 and 11 were drawn together by Master Dooku, a small kernel of dread had pooled at the pit of her stomach.

It was his number, of course.

Despite his bulk and muscle, Knight 1 was _fast_. Rey knew this well enough from first-hand experience. The man was a machine during training, easily outpacing all the other Knights, herself included. Deceptively light of foot, deceptively agile and stealthy, he could measure the weight of his steps and hide himself, far more cleverly than a man of his size should have been capable.

Then he would crush his opponent to a bloody pulp. 

He was also three years older than her and the Commanding Knight. He had sheer experience over her; battles, endless drills, endless fighting competitions.

He won every single one, but that did not mean Rey intended to give up. The maze was _hers_ and if that meant she was showing a little Alpha arrogance, she did not really care.

 _And_ if there was a flicker of curiosity in her guts whenever she happened to see him shirtless during training, or whenever he brushed past her in the corridors, she would just ignore that too. The implant put a block on such things anyway. Or it was _supposed_ to. Knight 1 had never given her any inclination of mutual… curiosity. She was the runt in the pack, and she was certain he would underestimate her, as all the others had. 

In fact, she was banking on it.

She stood outside the south entrance of the maze and concentrated on her breathing. She just had to keep her wits about her and do all the things that usually made her win. Keep quiet, be patient, and try not to get caught. 

Once the whistle blew, indicating the beginning of the drill, Rey raced to the eastern quarter of the maze. She found a ledge and tucked herself inside, keeping her senses open for movement in the maze below. 

She stayed hidden for over an hour and just listened to the sounds in the maze. She had to give Knight 1 credit - she only heard him twice. Once, in what she was fairly certain was an intentional ploy to see if she would reveal herself, she heard him shifting around in one of the adjoining corridors. Then again, twenty minutes later, only much further away. 

Anything could be a gambit, though, and Rey was prepared for any tricks he might attempt. 

So she waited a little while longer, and when the silence stretched on, she decided to quietly reposition to a different spot. She landed on the floor quietly, tiptoeing over the parts in the floor she knew would likely creak and give her away. 

Nothing moved in the nearby corridors, but still, she waited, with her head cocked. 

When she was satisfied he was not in this part of the maze, she crept along the walls, watching the ceiling and floors for traps. She sidestepped a dart trap, passed by a dormant sentry, and made her way deeper into the maze. The bull’s eye was likely to be near there, where it would be harder for one to escape. The deeper into the maze one went, the more traps there usually were. 

Rey was just slipping down a passage on the northeast side when she caught a massive shadow lurking in her periphery. 

Before she could spin around, he had already gotten one good blow in, striking her ankle with a sharp jab of his foot. She did not make a sound, not even at the bright flare of pain. She ducked under what would have been a concussing hit to the back of her head, the hairs on her head shifting with the force of his strike, but she did not attempt to flee. They were in a tight area of the maze and he would snatch her up before she could escape down the corridor. 

Instead, she took a hard run at the wall and did a backflip over him, all before he had time to draw a breath. Her punches were strategic and quick, like a snake striking its prey. Knight 1’s left ankle was turned in slightly, likely from a past injury. She went for this spot, ducking under his hands and rolling to the side when he swept his leg out to trip her. She used her size to her advantage, flitting around like a wasp around a bear, striking with quick, precise punches and kicks.

Neither of them made a sound, aside from the harshness of their breathing. Not even pain made them cry out. They were Knights, and they were Alphas, and they were built from much stronger stuff than mere mortal pain.

Rey landed three more blows and skirted away from him to attempt to strike him in the ribs. A broken rib would certainly not bring him down – not this goliath of a man who had a good foot and hundred pounds on her - but it would slow him. That was all she needed to get to the marker first. 

Sweat dripped into her eyes, blinding her temporarily as she avoided a savage elbow from him. But this, and her own eagerness, was going to be her downfall. 

She was quick, but she had forgotten – he was quicker.

Before Rey could land her blow to his ribs, a move that always worked for her in the past, one large hand caught her fist in his. She expected him to twist, for the crack of bones and the agony of pain to greet her. It would not be the first, second, or third time that she had bones broken during one of these exercises.

To her grave surprise though, she was suddenly yanked forward and up off the floor. Her kicks were met with the solid mass of thighs as he blocked her useless attempts to hit him in the groin and then her back slammed against one of the concrete walls, hard enough to rattle her jaw in her head. She hissed angrily, her Alpha instincts screaming to clobber this giant brute and get him the hell _away_ from her.

But there was another urge below that. One that confused her long enough for him to get a better grasp of her. Suddenly, all she could smell was beechwood and a hint of something softer. Almost creamy, like vanilla.

It was _him_.

His scent drifted to her nostrils as he easily used one hand to pin her wrists above her head and used his body to pin the rest of her. There was suddenly _so much_ of him pressed against her. She took a staggering breath, uncharacteristically unnerved, and then his dark, fathomless eyes were directly in line with hers. This was the first time she had ever been so _close_ to him, or any other Alpha really, that did not involve a direct combat situation.

But that was what this was, surely? They were combatants, not...

Her feet kicked uselessly several feet above the ground, an unfamiliar sense of panic riddling through her. She needed to get away from this Alpha. He was clouding her senses; he was making her weak. And she was not weak.

She growled and hissed at him, but he ignored her. He held her that way for several seconds, simply staring at her and breathing evenly through his nose, like holding her up in the air cost him no energy at all. 

He just... breathed at her, his eyes flitting all over her face. He was nearly expressionless, were it not for the slight curious wrinkle in his eyebrows. She was distinctly reminded of a large cat, like a tiger or a leopard staring at its meal before devouring it at its own leisurely pace. His scent reached her again, stronger than before, and she could not help but breathe him in, tasting him on the roof of her mouth.

_Alpha._

“You got cocky, 11.” His voice was a deep rasp that immediately set her nerves on fire. 

Her struggling slowly ceased as she stared back at him, her hazel eyes flitting all over his strangely handsome face.

“So, do it, 1. What are you waiting for?” Rey spat at him. 

She was infuriated, mostly with herself, but also with his odd behaviour. When the Knights trained against one another, things usually got ugly pretty fast. It was only out in the battlefield that they worked as a unit together, following their Commanding Knight’s lead.

In the maze, though, competition was fair game.

Knight 1 smirked at her tone and she was torn between tracing the way it changed his face and becoming even angrier with him.

Suddenly, before Rey could say or do anything else, he leaned close, the side of his face brushing against hers in a touch that felt quite similar to the way he had brushed against her arm earlier. She felt more than heard him inhale deeply, his nose a hair away from the dormant gland on her throat, and his chest expanding against hers. Every muscle in her body locked together in shock and she blinked stupidly over his shoulder, watching his back move and up down with his deep breathing.

Knight 1 made a low sound in his throat, though she was unsure what it meant. Such a sound was alien to her; Alphas growled and hissed and snarled, but they never made _that_ sound. There was something darkly warm about it, an invitingness that made her breath catch in her throat.

Then, his lips pressed against her ear, and she could not help a small, surprised gasp.

“What the _hell_ are you doing?” Rey whispered, the puff of air from her lips ruffling the black waves of his hair.

An Elder could come around the corner at any second and find them. The thought should have sent her into a flying panic, but she was far too shocked to do much of anything at that moment. Then, Knight 1 took another deep breath, his bottom lip getting caught on her earlobe. She closed her eyes at the contact, her heart racing and blood roaring in her ears. His scent quickly became overwhelming, fogging up her senses until she forgot where they were and what they were doing. 

She went completely slack against him and he made another low sound, only this time her nape prickled with it.

He was _rumbling,_ she realized; she could feel it everywhere that he was pressed against her, almost like he was…. Purring? This was another sound that was alien to her, but she was not about to ask him about it. All her instincts told her to shut up; there was a dominant Alpha here and she should just… Let him.

 _Let him,_ a quiet, quivering voice spoke in the back of her mind.

The next sound he made was approving, as though he _liked_ that she had stopped struggling against him. 

_Alpha,_ that small voice in her hindbrain murmured. _Alpha is here. Alpha will protect._

 _No!_ Another voice in her mind argued – the voice of her own Alpha instincts. _I don’t need his fucking protection! Kick him, scratch out his eyes, bite him –_

 _Yes,_ that strange new voice whimpered back, _let’s bite him. He’ll appreciate it._

 _What?!_ That other voice cried out, but then he was speaking, and she promptly forgot about her inner argument.

“What was your name before, 11?” he rasped in her ear and her toes curled in her boots from the sound.

“My…?” Rey trailed off when she felt his nose slide against her throat, skin to skin this time.

His hand squeezed both of hers in his, his thumb brushing against the glands on her wrists. She literally had to bite her lips to hide a whimper.

“Your name, little Alpha. What was it?”

This was a dangerous question. They had no names anymore. They were just numbers determined by Snoke and the Elders, by rank of strength and worthiness.

Still, the answer came out of her as naturally as breathing.

“Rey,” she whispered into his hair. She was breathing him in too, now. She couldn’t _help_ it. He was all over her, pressed against her in every possible way. This was the most they had ever spoken to each other. Some of the Knights were more social than others, but Rey was not. She never went out with them to pillage the villages after battle and she never drank with them in the Knights’ quarters.

As far as she knew, Knight 1 did not partake in these activities either.

“Rey,” he repeated quietly, like he was testing it out. His nose brushed her skin again and she swore, she felt the tip of his tongue on her gland. 

She quivered against him and he made a soft sound, almost like a coo.

“What… what was yours?” 

Rey did not know what she was doing. They should not be having this conversation. If the Elders or Snoke found out, they would be severely punished. Even the Commanding Knight, Snoke’s most revered warrior, could not afford such indiscretion. But she could not push him away, either. Not when he smelled so _good_. Not when he was pressed against her, his chest to hers, where he could no doubt feel the rabid race of her heart.

Taking one final deep breath, he pulled back to look at her. His pupils were blown wide, his lips folding together as he took in her glazed eyes and red cheeks. His other hand gripped her waist, his fingers rubbing in small, soothing circles.

“I’m going to knock you out,” he told her, very quietly. “You might get a concussion, so if you wake up in the healing baths that is why.”

She stiffened against him, belatedly remembering that they were in the middle of a drill. His little - warning? courtesy? - was also highly irregular. In the maze, in the training fields, hell sometimes in the mess hall when the Knights broke into fights, they never warned each other what they were about to do. They just attacked, as Alphas do.

Rey stared back at him, her eyes narrowed with confusion. The hand on her waist moved up to grip her jaw; he could fit almost the entire thing in just one hand. She tensed, waiting for the inevitable pain.

He leaned close again, his lips at her ear, and then all she could see was the darkened maze over his massive shoulders.

“My name was Ben,” he murmured to her, before violently pulling her head forward and then smashing it off the wall behind her.

Rey woke up in the healing bath several hours later, the scent of beechwood and vanilla in her nostrils and a mysterious warmth spreading across her lower abdomen. When she checked between her legs, her fingers came away with slick.


	3. Warning Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you going to do?” Rey whispered. Her eyes were practically green with anger and she absolutely ignored the fact that there was a quiver to her voice. “Report me to Snoke?”
> 
> “Oh, you won’t need to worry about him.” Ben’s left eye twitched and his nostrils flared. “I think you should be far more concerned about where you are right now, sweetheart.”
> 
> Rey learns that Knight 1 does not appreciate his orders not being followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh that tension, yo. 
> 
> Warning for violence in this chapter. In the past, Rey was a trained killer and did not think to question orders until much later. She is not a bad person - she is just a product of her conditioning.

_Present day._

Rey was bleeding.

Her shoulder was dislocated, and her hip burned from the slash she had taken from one of their knives. She was going to have to pop her own shoulder back in if she had any hope of not passing out. She just needed a little more distance. Behind her rapidly retreating back, there were three Alphas lying dead on the path that led to the caves. She had managed to shove another over the cliff and when the Knight ( _Kaydel,_ her mind cried out her in equal parts grief and remorse, _I killed Kaydel, I killed her!_ ) had gone over the edge, she had grabbed onto Rey’s arm in some last-ditch effort to save herself, promptly dislocating her shoulder. But she had fallen to her death anyway because Rey’s sense of self-preservation was just a little bit stronger in the end.

She had barely managed to get away after that.

Rey was in the caves now, her bare feet padding over sharp stones as she followed the path through by memory. It was completely dark, but that was no problem for an Alpha. They could see just about as well in total darkness as in full daylight. She could also hear as well as one. There were three more behind her, sniffing the path of blood, sweat, and Alpha pheromones that she had left in her wake.

And that was really the crux of the problem.

Her injuries were not life-threatening, but her shoulder was going to be a problem if she could not shoot the others. Hand to hand combat would be next to impossible. Her ammo was running low, and she had lost her knife in her scuffle with Kaydel.

The other problem, perhaps worse than her superficial wounds, was her _heat._

It had come at the worst possible time, though that should not have really surprised her. She had always had shit luck.

As Rey fled further into the blackness with three more Knights following close behind, the first round of cramps seized her stomach and cunt in wringing squeezes. Seeking a knot that was not there, clenching around nothing. That part hurt worst of all, she thought, knowing that what she needed was hunting her through this network of caves. Hunting to kill her.

She swallowed back the pain and kept going.

 _Kaydel, Kaydel, Kaydel,_ her mind continued to bleat. _She was always so kind to me, when we were still pups and barely old enough to do long division, let alone shoot a gun. She used to do my hair in three buns and tell off the bigger Alphas when they picked on me. She used to…_

But it did not matter anymore. Kaydel would have killed her just as easily as she did her, and there was no use bemoaning what was done.

Her training had taught her that too.

*

_Two years ago._

Rey began avoiding him after the incident in the maze.

When she was assigned to the same team as the Commanding Knight, she found a way to switch assignments, so she was the one who went scouting the perimeters and tending lookout posts. He was always too busy leading the Knights into the thick of their assaults to be concerned with where she was, even if she was disrupting his team’s assignment rotation. He certainly never said anything to her if he did notice and she was more than happy to keep it that way, Alpha pride be damned.

Whenever she was back at the compound, training or using off-hours to study their next mission, she made sure he was elsewhere in the complex before doing her exercises and drills. She did not linger in the showers, where the Alphas washed together in a communal space. She had never enjoyed showering with others, anyway, always preferring privacy even though there really was no such thing as privacy in the Knighthood. Now, she had even more motivation to wait until the middle of the night before venturing to the privy.

There was something about him, from the second he pressed her to the wall in that maze, that dulled her Alpha instincts. When she felt almost like an _Omega_ , or something equally preposterous. She was indignant with herself on this subject but felt it best to just stay out of his way. It was not unheard of for the Knights to have sex with one another, but they were always too busy subjugating Betas and Omegas to bother with each other. Their implants were supposed to put a block on most of their Alpha urges, besides the ones that had to do with aggression and strength.

Everything else was seen as a distraction which was what made this _attraction_ so very strange to Rey. And dangerous.

One positive was that Rey had not found slick in her underwear again and for that she was grateful. If she had, she would have visited the nurses to have her implant replaced. They were supposed to last for life, but clearly, hers must have been malfunctioning if she was having _that_ reaction. Thankfully, the issue seemed to have solved itself, but she did not want to take any chances. 

So she stayed away and did not see him again for weeks.

But his scent remained.

Sometimes, when she was eating in the mess hall (always alone, at the end of one of the tables while the other Alphas were rowdy and obnoxious) she would catch a hint of that scent on the air, no matter how strong the spices were in their food. When she was training, in the maze or outside - it did not matter, faint notes of beechwood and vanilla would find her, curling in invitation. Rey persevered. She ignored it. She avoided him. It was all going rather well, she thought. 

Until today.

Caked in several layers of mud and her cheek bleeding from being grazed by a stray bullet, her back was against a flipped over tank in a murky, rain-soaked field somewhere in the Congo rainforest. Gunshots filled the air, harsh screaming in French and Swahili as the enemy cried out to one another.

The rain had stopped, but the mud was thick and wet under her boots. For the majority of this mission, she had been holed up in a lookout tower until the moment all hell broke loose. _His_ voice had come over her radio, barking at her to head to the jet they left stashed about five miles away. Knight 1 ( _not Ben, do not think of him as Ben,_ she had to forcefully tell herself) wanted them to be ready for take-off. Their target was out of reach and they were badly outnumbered, so they needed to fall back. 

Rey had planned on obeying his orders. Really, she had.

But then she had gotten to the clearing and accidentally stumbled across a small troop of enemies heading back towards the jungle. With them was the man the Knights had been sent to assassinate. Ali Jerra, a General of the rebels of this area. 

She was not _supposed_ to follow these men, but after she stumbled upon them, it quickly became evident that they had no idea she had the drop on them. This was far too good an opportunity to pass up, or otherwise, their target would escape and they would fail this mission even more than they already had. 

Snoke was not overly lenient of failure. 

All of them would be punished – not just the Commanding Knight – and she had no intention of being lashed by Snoke’s whip.

Not if she could do _this_ instead.

Rey had no idea where the Commanding Knight was ( _Ben,_ her mind whispered, in the keening little voice she had come to loathe lately), nor the rest of her team, which meant she was on her own. The Alpha in her was too ingrained against failure to consider going back now. From where she sat, she was almost invisible to the enemy. They were moving back to the thickness of the jungle and she waited for the last of the men to disappear before she darted across the clearing.

Rey leapt nimbly over mines and other traps, her heart beating staccato in her ribs. Her gun was strapped over her shoulder and she had a long, nasty blade in the sheaf on her hip. Hours ago, she had to toss her mask in the mud. The bullet had smashed through the side of it, effectively ruining its utility and leaving her with that nasty cut on her face. It was nothing the healing baths could not take care of, and it was nothing she was concerned over now.

The target was dead ahead and if she was careful and cunning, she could get him.

Like a phantom, Rey flitted between the trees, following the men with their camo jackets and the weapons that had been supplied to them from the very government secretly seeking to destroy them. She was not overly concerned with the mechanics of war and politics – not at this stage, anyway – and she kept after them, her steps mincing and quiet.

The men disappeared down a steep embankment, calling out to one another as they loaded up vans and trucks with soldiers and whatever supplies that had survived their skirmish against the Knights. The scent of beechwood and cream reached her nostrils again, but she ignored it like she had all the other times over the last few weeks. It was just a distraction, just a memory to pull her away from her duty.

She was _close_. All she had to do was surprise them and they would be hers.

Rey watched the men from the trees. They outnumbered her, twenty to one but she’d had worse odds before. Turning back to the jungle to draw a fortifying breath and prepare herself to attack, her entire body tensed up with shock. 

_He_ was suddenly right behind her. Knight 1, the Commanding Knight. _Ben_.

Rey pulled back in surprise, but this was the only movement she made to express her shock. By the silent way Knight 1 moved, she suspected he had been behind her since she entered the jungle. Like her, his gun was strapped to his shoulder and his helmet was missing. There was a faint bruise on his jaw, but besides this, she could see no other injuries. He was also alone, and then she noticed the way he stared down at her, his jaw shifting with movement.

His scent bloomed around her once more, only there was a slightly bitter note to it now.

 _Alpha is angry,_ that needling voice in her head whispered.

 _Fuck off,_ Rey responded to that voice, utterly unnerved.

Neither of them spoke – to do so would be tantamount to suicide with all those men just down the hill behind them – but she could see the fury in his eyes just as clearly as if he had screamed it at her. He went to reach for her, likely to pull her away from the embankment and their targets below, but she recoiled before he could, her boots slipping in the mud.

His eyes flashed, darkening to a shade of hardened umber.

Oh, he was _furious_ , but she did not care why at the moment. Their target was _right there_ , just down the hill. The two of them could take them easily. She did not understand his hesitation, until his hand shot out, faster than her eyes could track, and he yanked her to him as quietly as possible. Then, his mouth was pressed to her ear and she shivered with remembrance at the way he had done the very same thing only weeks ago, in the maze.

“ _What the fuck are you doing_?” he hissed so quietly, she could hardly hear him. There was pressure behind those words, an age-old command hidden under the growl in his chest.

“We can take them,” Rey murmured back to him even more quietly, pulling back to stare at him incredulously.

So what if she disobeyed orders and did not go back to the jet? Killing the target was more important. The others could retreat if they wanted to, but she would not give up. It was against every fiber of her being to do so.

His jaw shifted, his grip tightening on her arm, but she had enough of this. Knowing any sudden movement would give them away, she did it anyway, tearing her arm out of his grasp and forcing both their hands in the matter. Using the slickness of the rain to slip away, she was already launching herself off the edge of the embankment before he could stop her.

The men below shouted in surprise, drawing their guns to fire on her.

But she was faster than any of them.

Her knife was out of its sheath and then their blood decorated the mud as she landed gracefully on her feet, directly on top of two men. After they fell, gurgling on their own blood in the muck, she twisted and ducked, cutting into the men in a ruthless barrage; slashing, stabbing and mowing them down before they had a chance to open fire.

A loud thud shook the ground nearby and she knew it was Ben without looking.

He did not waste time with his knife. The deafening roar of his rifle went off in the clearing, and then men were screaming with pain as the bullets tore through them and their cars. Metal dented and glass shattered, and all the while, Rey cut her way through the nearest men, until they were all dead. 

Until it was just the two of them in that clearing.

Her target lay dead in his own blood on the ground. She stared down at him, adrenaline, Alpha endorphins, and battle lust coursing through her as she put away her knife.

Even back then, Rey did not delight in death. But she was still an Alpha. She was still a hunter. There was a thrill in her veins that she could not deny any more than the breath in her lungs.

Suddenly, a large warm hand enveloped her arm once again.

Then Rey was spun around and slammed into one of the cars before she could flit away this time. Then, it was _his_ face blotting out the entire world. His expression was twisted with fury, his eyes practically glowing back at her, as he leaned his face close to hers.

“Your orders were to go to the jet. Not to come out here, on your own. _You could have fucked us if you had been captured_!” He roared this last part in her face, the small damp hairs around her face shifting with the force of his breath.

She blinked up at him and suddenly, she was _infuriated._

“With all due respect, _Alpha,_ ” she snarled back at him, enunciating the word _Alpha_ so nastily that his nostrils flared and his grip tightened to the point of bruising, “I saw a chance and I took it. I wasn’t about to fall back to the jet with my tail between my legs just because I was on my own. _I can handle myself_.”

He shook her once, lifted her off the car and then slamming her against it again. She hardly felt it, she was so angry, but this only seemed to incense him further. Perhaps she should have been scared. He was twice her size and he could do her a lot of damage. Their strange conversation from a few weeks ago was the furthest thing from her mind as they glared at each other.

“Yes, you’ve made it quite clear over the last few weeks that you have no regard for orders,” Ben growled at her, his plush lips pulled back from his white and slightly crooked teeth. 

She wished she did not notice how sensuous his mouth was. How his cheekbones looked like they could cut glass.

And then, when Rey replayed his words, she paled.

He nodded at her as though he had just read the revelation from her mind, his upper lip curling into a sneer.

“That’s right, little Alpha. Didn’t think I would notice you reassigning yourself to scouting duties, did you? Well, if you need a little reminder about the chain of command, I am happy to provide it.” He lowered his face so that their eyes were level with one another, and her breath got stuck in her throat. “ _I_ set the assignments on these missions, not _you_ . _I_ decide who mans the lookouts, the perimeter checks, and any other fucking post because _I_ am the Commanding Knight. So, if I have you assigned to my team, you _stay – the – fuck – on – my – team._ ”

Each word was a snarl, emanating from deep in his chest. His face was so close to hers, she could count all the beauty marks on his face. Could have drawn a constellation map if she wanted to and read him his fucking horoscope. In all honesty, Rey _had_ thought he would not notice. He certainly had not said anything to her about reassigning herself off his team for the last while and she thought he wouldn’t care. Not when he had a thousand other things to worry about.

Their encounter in the maze could have just been a one-off, a blip in their implants, and he would go back to disregarding her existence and she would go back to blissfully ignoring him.

Apparently, she was very wrong.

“Furthermore,” Ben said, yanking her forward again. She scowled at him and he only smirked, though there was little humour behind it. He looked nearly demented with anger and she knew then that it was the Alpha in him; the very affront she had made to his authority. “When I tell you to go the jet, or to any other fucking place I order you to, _you better fucking get your ass there_. None of this going off on your own bullshit.”

“But- ” Rey began, having every intention of informing him, once again, that they had a perfect window to their target when his smirk vanished and his nose brushed against hers as he jerked her even closer. 

Oh, he did not like her interrupting him. Not one iota.

“Shut the hell up,” he growled, and she could sense the warning beneath those words. The press of his will against hers.

 _Fucking prick,_ Rey silently seethed, in the Alpha half of her brain. _Who does he think I am? A fucking Omega?_

 _Alpha is angry, do not upset him. Apologize and present him your gland,_ the other part of her brain told her and Rey could not decide who she wanted to throttle more – Ben, or that piteous voice in her head.

“What are you going to do?” Rey whispered. Her eyes were green with her anger and she absolutely ignored the fact that there was a quiver to her voice. “Report me to Snoke?”

“Oh, you won’t need to worry about him.” Ben’s left eye twitched and his nostrils flared. “I think you should be far more concerned about where you are right now, sweetheart.”

 _Sweetheart?!_ Her Alpha brain shrieked, but inexplicably, her rage had softened just the slightest. Because he would not report, no matter how angry he was and while she still thought he was a self-important bastard, at least he wasn’t a vindictive one. 

“Now, do we have an understanding, or not?”

His tone had turned into something languid, almost like heated honey, almost like something she might like to drown in. Her breaths stuttered from her and she knew he noticed by the way his eyes darkened, to pitch black. Wetness leaked from her cunt, drenching her underwear, and by the shifting of his jaw, he could smell what he had done to her.

And a part of her hated him for it.

“Is that a yes, or no, маленький рыцарь?” he murmured in a deceptively soft voice, the last of his words uttered in his mother tongue. 

Her eyes widened – she had always suspected him to be Russian. It was something of a running bet amongst the other Knights since their Commanding Knight was cloaked in so much mystery. She had always noticed a slight turn to his enunciation, had always wondered if that was a Russian accent she was hearing, which only led her to realize that she had been paying far too much attention to him to notice something like that. 

Still, to have it confirmed was shocking, most of all just because of _who_ he was. No one knew anything about him, but then he had revealed his real name to her weeks ago. And now he had revealed this as well. 

“ _Da_ Ben,” she rasped at him, jutting her jaw stubbornly. She wanted to sound sarcastic, but the breathiness of her voice cut that plan to ribbons.

Ben breathed down at her for a long moment, their eyes locked with anger and something else, something that had caused him to shift his body closer to hers so that he was not holding her up by his hands so much as squishing her against the car with his hips and torso.

A flicker of movement over his shoulder caught Rey’s eye.

Her blade was out again, within nanoseconds, and she threw it with unnerving accuracy. In all of Ben’s surprise, he dropped her back on her feet and they looked together as one of the men, who had not been dead after all, fell to the mud with her blade sticking out of his chest.

Well, he was certainly dead now.

With far more asperity than Rey felt, she brushed past Ben and leaned down to grab her blade. Then she hopped up on a vehicle and leapt to the top of the embankment, not once turning back to see if he followed her.

On the flight back to the compound, she made sure not to sit anywhere near him. It did not matter though. She could feel his regard for her the whole way back. His scent was soft again, without that bitter note of anger, and though she did not want to care, a small piece of her was relieved.

But that only left them in uncertain waters once more.


	4. And the Sky Turned Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We shouldn’t.” Rey felt like it was very important to say this out loud, but she could not quite remember why. “We have to stop…”
> 
> “I know,” Ben whispered against her throat. 
> 
> Rey and Ben have a confrontation with far-reaching consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh snap, we're getting into it now! 
> 
> One more chapter to go - I am about a third or more the way completed, so the next update might be a bit slower. We'll see how fast I can type tomorrow ;) 
> 
> Image One: unknown artist sadly, but loved it and needed to share :D  
> Image Two: BoomDaFunk (tumblr)
> 
> Translations:  
> возлюбленная - beloved  
> маленькая милая - little darling

__

_Present day._

Rey was lost.

This fact came to her through the bleariness of pain and blood loss. Through the red wash of heat. She had managed to kill another of the Knights, which left only two.

He was one of them. Knight 1. Commanding Knight. _Ben_. 

And the fact that it was down to such intimate odds left her reeling as she climbed up yet another tunnel and found herself near an underground lake of sorts. The scent of the ocean was strong here, all salt and seaweed. Her eyes stung from it - or perhaps that was just from the sweat dripping down her face. 

Her healing tattoos burned, her skin peeling in black little scabs. She could not hear them behind her, but she did not trust her senses anymore. More than anything, she wanted to stop and rest, which only made her push herself harder. Her thoughts were consumed with finding a safe spot to nest and she kept finding herself veering off in the wrong direction, her senses concerned with finding somewhere cool and dry. And safe. Preparing herself for the brunt of her heat and for…

It was there again. His scent was soft and embracing. Like finding the home she never really had. Rey knew right before she turned around that he would be there like he always was.

Right behind her.

*

_Two years ago._

Today, it was Dante and the mythical Skywalker Clan. 

She had always had an affinity for lore and myths. The Elders did not have much patience for her appetite for fiction, but Snoke surprisingly supported her reading habits. He said these stories would give her a better understanding of the failures of men. Of their follies and vices.

Rey just liked the stories, but she went along with whatever meant she would not get them taken away. That was her life now, as troubling as that was; going along with whatever would keep her sane and alive. 

She always loved to read. It was a secret pleasure of hers, and one she guarded jealously.

On this rare day off, she planned on spending every second of it buried in her books. Their days were always consumed with missions, recon, and training. The Knights’ tough and regimented training days usually left little time for anything else. Snoke was away visiting with overseas contacts in the Middle East, which left them some time to themselves. 

The others would be down in the village, drinking and fucking and taking whatever they wanted. Omegas, Betas - everyone was easy prey. For although they had long lost the urge to mate, they still retained all the other instincts, just fine. Fighting, aggression, power dynamics - those Snoke coveted and kept. Everything else was seen as a distraction. 

The fact that the others were gone was fine by Rey. She just wanted some peace and quiet. After the last mission, after that confrontation with _him_ in the mud and rain, she wanted to be alone. To think about what her next move would be because that was really the crux of the problem. She should _not_ have any other urges. She should not be searching for his scent, every day, no matter where she was or what she was doing. She should not be wondering where he was and if he might be thinking about her too. 

That most of all. 

She had not visited the nurses yet. Though she did not want to admit it to herself, she suspected the aversion to bringing this matter to _anyone’s_ attention, least of all the nurses who would report back to Snoke faster than she could say “treason”, was partially motivated out of fear. Every day since the last mission, she had awoken covered in sweat, her skin feeling too tight for her body and a pool of slick in her underwear. She had never had sex before. She did not partake in the carnal pleasures of her fellow Knights.

But Rey was not stupid, either. 

If this kept happening to her, it was only a matter of time before the Elders found out. Before _Snoke_ found out. He would pull her out of rotation. Hell, they might even terminate her. Snoke fawned over her; she was an effective killer and one of his favourites. Unlike the other Knights, he controlled what she wore, how she did her hair and just about everything else. He had never touched her – she suspected he was more interested in men than anything else – but she was his to keep, in the perfect image he saw her as. And if she was about to go into - _that_ \- then he would have little use for an Alpha who resisted their implant.

God, she could not even think the word “heat” without wanting to vomit. It should not be impossible. As far as she knew, the implants were always effective, on both female and male Alphas. This did not happen. Ever.

But every time she went near Knight 1, every time she _thought_ about him and _smelt_ the phantom of his pheromones on the air…

Even now, just thinking about it, her stomach cramped, and her underwear grew _wet_.

Rey checked her direct surroundings furtively, surreptitiously adjusting on the tree branch she was perched on. She was up in the tallest tree within the compound gardens. The other Knights rarely visited this part of the grounds, which made it the optimal place to escape to on the infrequent times she had to herself. 

Sitting on her lap, she had one of the ancient texts opened, depicting all the old legends about the Skywalker Clan. How the granddaughter of the infamous Alpha warrior, Anakin Skywalker, married a commoner - someone whose name was not even mentioned in the book - and how Anakin went mad with grief when his granddaughter left court. How he had burned the entire palace to the ground, somewhere in eastern Europe, and that was the end of the Skywalkers, as far as anyone knew.

As Rey flipped to the next page, finally forgetting about her predicament and becoming fully immersed in this ancient and mythical world, an all too familiar scent arrived with the wind. Her skin prickled, her nipples hardened and before she looked up from the book, she already knew he was there.

“That storybook is highly inaccurate.” 

Ben – or Knight 1 as she _should_ have been thinking of him as – stood at the base of the tree in his black Knight’s attire, his collar undone, and the exposed skin of his collarbone and throat flushed and sweaty. He had likely been training right before coming out here. Of course. Leave it to him to train, even when they had a rare day off.

Rey could see one of his glands from here, all slicked with sweat. She looked away quickly, swallowing past a strange lump in her throat.

“Can I help you?” she replied stiffly, and attempted, in vain, to return her attention to the book.

“I didn’t take you for the type who liked fairytales.”

Rey sighed and dropped the book into her lap, aiming a glare at him from her perch.

She tried not to focus on how light his eyes were today. Like spilt honey or a fine, smokey whiskey. He stood as he always did, his left ankle slightly turned in (and again she wondered if it was from an injury, or if that was just the way he stood). Although she was seated up high, he still looked massive and imposing from her vantage point. His black hair shifted with the wind, those sable waves tossed and wild-looking, and making him appear every bit his designation.

“Legends can be instructional if you have half a brain.” Rey silently congratulated herself for coming across as completely disdainful, for she did not sound at all how she felt – nervous as all fucking hell.

She turned back to her book and adjusted her legs on the tree branch to find a more comfortable position when she heard him snort. She closed eyes with frustration, silently willing him to leave. Her underwear was already damp and the longer he lingered in her presence, the more precarious her situation would become.

“Snoke isn’t here, little Alpha. You can drop the bullshit.”

Her gaze snapped to his, her face twisting with anger, only she noticed then that he was smirking at her. That there was something lighter to his expression; almost as though he was actually amused and not just his usual angry, asshole self.

“ _Don’t_ call me that,” Rey snapped. She did not even pretend to look at her book anymore. She was well past having any hope of focusing on anything with him standing down there, just _staring_ at her.

“Why? It’s what you are,” Ben replied and now there was a crookedness to his grin that made her cunt _twitch_ . She had never seen that expression on his face before. It was endearing - of all damned things. Almost roguish and – _fuck_ . There it went. Her underwear grew damp, grew _wet_ , and she could smell herself in the air already.

 _Fuck,_ Rey thought, hopelessly. _Just leave, you prick. Go away!_

She was trying not to panic but at any second, that strange slick would come again, just like it did this morning and the morning before that, and then he would _smell_ it and…

And what? Shove her against a hard surface again? Sniff her neck? Glower and threaten her? She would rip his fucking balls off, Commanding Knight be damned. 

_Would I, though?_ She thought to herself. _Or would I thank him? Would I beg him to lick my glands because they itch and they’re driving me fucking insane right now?_

Ah yes. That was the puling, weak, Omega-y voice she hated so much. Rey endeavoured to ignore it, but the effort was growing more difficult with each passing second. 

“And you’re an asshole,” she replied, trying and failing to keep the nerves from her voice, “but you don’t hear me calling you that all the time.”

His grin faded away, but she was already turning away from him so that she was facing at the west wall of the compound. Really, though, she kept her senses open and waiting. He did not _seem_ angry, but this Alpha was mercurial and unpredictable, which she did not appreciate. She was used to getting the measure of others right away, not being left to interpret their stormy emotions and coming out wrong more times than not.

There was a stretch of silence and almost against her will, her gaze flitted down to Ben. He had not moved from his spot, his eyes trained on her with such intensity, she felt like ditching her skin. Could he smell her? Did he _know_?

He folded his lips together in thought, his jaw shifting.

“I was looking for you.” And he just stopped there, without providing any more explanation. 

The bastard. 

Rey raised an eyebrow at him, but inside, her heart was galloping in her chest. She knew he would not leave if she went on ignoring him, so she tried to keep things on a normal ground.

“Did one of the Elders send you?”

 _There,_ Rey thought at him, but did not say. _There is your scapegoat. So just leave now before something stupid happens._

“No. They did not,” he rumbled at her from below and she could not suppress a shiver when she realized his voice had dropped an octave.

Alpha voice. She should know since she had used her own on a number of occasions, though never with _this_ Alpha. Which should not be noteworthy at all, but suddenly all she could think about was him using that voice on her again, only to tell her to take off all her clothes and bend over for him. 

Which - of course - did nothing to help the situation in her panties either. She could feel little droplets wetting her pants now and she had no idea how she was going to go back inside later with the state she was in. 

Panic flared brightly, and Ben seemed to sense it. His dark gaze flitted all over her face, his body rocking forward like he wanted to move.

“Well then, I’m busy. So if you could kindly fu -” But Rey cut herself off from speech because she had caught it. Caught _him_.

Ben was inhaling deeply. His broad chest expanded with it, and she caught the barest sound from him. A slight groan, too quiet to be anything of substance.

Rey flushed and promptly looked away from him, as though this action might make him go away even though she knew by now that it would not. She did not want to deal with her – _reactions_ – to him today. She wanted to be left in peace. To have one day to herself, with her thoughts not consumed by him and his delectable scent.

“Have you…?”

Her gaze snapped to his. Her senses were attuned to his every movement, even though she wished they weren’t.

Ben – _Knight 1_ – was staring back at her, almost questioningly.

“What?” Rey meant to sound snippy when she said it, but it came out far more breathlessly than she planned for. Her cunt gave another involuntary twitch, only this time it was stronger now. And sweeter, too.

She literally bit her lip against the sound that wanted to come out of her mouth.

Now, they were just staring at one another, not saying a word. She could feel her skin vibrating with tension as sweat beaded at her temples and spilt down her goose-pebbled skin to sear across her now inflamed glands. Ben’s jaw shifted some more and if she did not know any better, she would say that was a nervous habit of his. 

Before she could marvel over this fact, he straightened up and started climbing up the tree.

“ _Hey_ ,” she said indignantly, only it was not indignant at all. She sounded _desperate._

His hands, so much larger than hers, gripped the tree branches below as he climbed. Much too late, she shifted off her branch in an attempt to – what – outrun him? Regardless, the gesture was fruitless because his hand closed over her boot and then he had pulled her down against the bark of the tree, pinning her with his body before she could pull another breath.

Rey growled irately, her hazel eyes flashing with anger, but he took no heed. He was standing on the branch below the one she was trapped on, which left their faces level with one another. She shoved at his shoulders, but she might as well have been trying to push a mountain over. Nothing she did made a difference and he only huffed with impatience when she slapped his hand away from her waist.

“Don’t bother, little Alpha.” His eyes were light still, but she could see his pupils expanding already. His scent was stronger than ever today; sweet, with the slightest spicy note to it now. Cinnamon, beechwood and vanilla.

She could have died, right there on the spot.

“Do _not_ call me that,” Rey snapped at him, baring her teeth.

He grinned at her. Grinned. At her. Like she was as threatening as a terrier. Once again, half of her mind was entranced with the near boyishness of that grin, but the other half - her Alpha half - was outraged.

Rey snarled.

“Stop it, Rey,” Ben murmured, almost coaxingly. 

Her stomach locked together at the way he said her name, but she could not let him do this again. He grabbed her hands when she went to slap him across the face, his grin slow to fade as he took in her enraged expression.

“Then stop touching me!” she flashed at him, attempting to pull her hands out of his grasp. His hands were almost twice the size of hers, his fingers long and thick where hers were nimble and small.

A thought entered her mind before she could stop it; what would his fingers feel like elsewhere on her body? What would they feel like _inside_ of her?

 _We do not need him!_ Her Alpha instincts screamed, and, at that moment, Rey heartily agreed.

“Let me go,” she growled, but there was a warbling note to her voice now that she had never heard herself make before. As she continued struggling against him, he made a soft chuffing sound in response, yanking her hands to pin them against the tree as he leaned his bulk against her.

“Hush, возлюбленная,” he whispered, half in Russian, and then his nose was ghosting along her left cheek. “I know you feel it, too.” 

She panted harshly, her struggles slowing before she stopped altogether. One his hands slipped from hers to grasp her hair, gently guiding her head to the side so that he could brush his nose along her gland.

“We shouldn’t.” Rey felt like it was very important to say this out loud, but she could not quite remember why. “We have to stop…”

“I know,” Ben whispered against her throat. 

His lips brushed her gland and then he _moaned_ , the sound making her toes curl and her free hand reach up to squeeze the fabric of his tunic. That was not a sound she had ever pictured him making, but as soon as she heard it she was addicted.

She needed to hear him make it again.

Then, he was pressing little kisses into her gland and it was her turn to moan, the sound broken and rasping in the cool air. The moment was soft and strange, but only because no one had ever touched Rey so tenderly before. So achingly gentle. He pressed a soft kiss to her gland, and then repeated the motion, pressing harder against her skin, until she felt his tongue lick a wet trail up her throat.

“You’ve been driving me fucking _mental_ ,” he rasped, all harsh and rough. “For months now, little Alpha. All I can smell is you.”

Rey whimpered.

His kisses trailed up her jaw, his teeth nipping on the point where her neck and jaw met. He pulled back a few inches, staring into her eyes. His own was no longer light and honey. They were black now, as they had been out in the battlefield.

“But… the implant,” Rey murmured weakly. The implant - what? What had she meant to say about it? She could not remember, not with him looking at her like she was the answer to a riddle he had not been able to solve for decades. 

Ben shook his head impatiently, his teeth winking out to pinch the plush pillow of his lower lip. His hand travelled from her hair, drifting up her throat and cupping her face. His thumb brushed against her, in hectic circles.

“Doesn’t matter,” he whispered against her mouth and then their lips met.

Rey was no longer pushing him away but _tugging_ and _pulling_ on his tunic to draw him closer. He groaned into her mouth, his tongue licking against her lips until she hesitantly opened her mouth to him. He made an encouraging sound as he pressed against her, the heat of his body scorching her. Their tongues tangled, all wet and hot and heady. Her heart raced, and her entire body trembled as some unanswerable question in her blood suddenly sang with relief.

_Alpha is here. Alpha will take care._

Their fingers clasped where he was holding her other hand and all that mattered now was the heat between them. Their scents mixed in the air. Soft and creamy and _theirs_.

His kisses grew more ardent, his mouth claiming hers as he drew her flush against him. She could feel something thick and hard against her belly, and her pussy gave a violent contraction, making her keen into his mouth. He growled in response, fisting the material of her shirt into his hand as sucked on the tip of her tongue. Without a thought of what she was doing, she bucked her hips against his, her pussy at the perfect height to grind against that thick hardness. 

When they moaned together in acknowledgement, she felt it down to her toes.

Soon, he was rubbing against her, the slick wetness of her core seeping through her pants and onto his, but he did not seem to care. Her hand travelled up his chest and then sank into his soft hair, yanking and pulling hard enough to earn her a nip to her tongue. He growled in reply, his hand sliding down her front to suddenly grasp her entire breast in his palm. He squeezed and rubbed and pinched her nipple through her top until she was making such wanton sounds, her cheeks turned red.

Suddenly, Ben tore away from her mouth, both of them panting harshly, but then all she saw was his beautiful raven’s hair and his shoulder as he leaned down to fasten his lips around her aching gland. He _sucked_ , his teeth scraping sensitive flesh. The sensation of his teeth set her blood aflame. Her hands sank into the hair at the nape of his neck and she pushed his face into her throat for more.

She moaned his name, his _real_ name, and he rocked against her in response.

“Ben,” she sighed into his neck. “ _Please_.”

And suddenly, he pushed away from her like she had burned him.

Rey sagged against the tree, her lower lip bleeding from how hard he had kissed her and her hair in wild disarray. Her insides were wet and throbbing and aching for her Alpha. But Ben only looked haunted as he stared back at her, and then without another word he leapt down from the tree, taking all the heat with him.

Confusion and something else – something that felt a lot like rejection – morphed her face, but she fought the urge to call him back. Ben aimed one last look at her over his shoulder, using his arm to wipe her from his mouth, and then he stalked off, his shoulders tense and his back stiff.

Rey was confused. She was _aroused_. But most of all, she was terrified. 

He was right to stop it when he did, even if it would take her hours to convince herself of this. If he hadn’t then… he would have fucked her against that tree. And she would have let him. Would have fucking _thanked_ him for it. But they couldn’t. They were Knights and they were Alphas and this was not sustainable. It was fucking suicidal at best. 

Things could not continue down this path for much longer. 

So, just before sunrise, she packed a bag and did the only thing she could think of in her condition.

She _ran_.

It was the first time she would run away and though it was not for the same reasons that would compel her to leave a second time, she should have known that her absence would be missed, even with Snoke gone. However, she assumed she had hours before any alarms were rung and any search parties sent out. By then, she could get far enough ahead to find somewhere to hide and…

 _Nest,_ that traitorous cunt of a voice moaned in her head. Rey loathed that voice more than anything else in the world, but she could not deny it. The implant did not matter anymore, just as Ben had told her, and though she did not understand how that was possible, that really did not matter anymore either. She was going into heat no matter what anyone or anything said or did, and she was just going to have to ride it out. 

What she did not know until much later was that her absence was noticed almost _immediately_. Down to the minute, as it happened. Ben saw her through one of the windows in the compound, climbing the south wall and disappearing into the forest just after sunset.

And he followed because by then, the heat was having its way with him too.

*

The cramps were bad.

Although, at this point, Rey felt that to call the cramps “bad” was akin to describing a raging forest fire “slightly out of control”. She could barely walk, could barely suppress moans of pain. Could barely see where the fuck she was going.

She walked into trees. She fell and cut her head. She scraped her hands badly and she almost fell into a river at one point. She walked for a day and night, stumbling through darkness and daylight with the same amount of blindness. Her entire body was coated with sweat, despite the cool temperature outside. Her head was a mess of thoughts, instincts, and urges. She needed to find somewhere safe. Somewhere hidden. It had to be cool and quiet.

She ditched her sweater hours ago and though she was sure she had tied it around her middle, it took her far longer than it should have to discover that it was missing. Her hair was a mess, the braid she had tied it in half falling out and leaving the strands to cling to her sweaty shoulders and neck. The glands on her throat and wrists were _flaming_ red and they itched so badly, her skin had begun to bleed from scratching.

In short, Rey looked like hell.

Mindlessly, she tipped back her canteen and drank what was left of her water. Her eyes were glassy, and she was stumbling around like a drunk at last call. She was in trouble. She knew this, in a distant way, but she could not focus on much beyond the inferno in her blood. She just needed, she needed…

“I need...” she mumbled out loud. 

“маленькая милая,” a low voice murmured to her.

Heat coiled in her guts, her cunt contracting just from that familiar voice alone. As the scent of beechwood reached her, Rey spun around. The motion caused the world to start going in dizzying circles and she knew she was going to fall before it happened. She also knew she was not getting back up again. A large, dark form stood just behind her, but she could not make out any details as her body curved towards the ground.

But then, a pair of warm arms circled around her, saving her from her fall.

Rey’s eyes fluttered, a tortured moan tearing from her lips before the world turned to black. His words followed her down, whispered into the heated skin of her forehead as he pulled her up and up, into his embrace. Into cream and beechwood and soothing warmth.

_Little sweetheart._


	5. Lemniscate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did you shoot the others and not me?” Ben drew even closer until the gun was just inches from his chest.
> 
> “You know why.”
> 
> And the past finally catches up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know the word lemniscate represents the statistical perfect figure eight? Honestly could not think of a better title to the last chapter of this story. <3
> 
> Warning ahead: Graphic sexual content and graphic violence. 
> 
> I really hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am new to A/B/O and I hope I did the trope justice. Will be focusing on my other two WIPs for the next while, but who knows, I might have some new ideas in the works... but we shall see ;)

_ _

_ Present day. _

Rey’s hand shook tellingly as she took aim with the gun.

Ben seemed to notice, his gaze only lingering once on the gun, before returning to her face. The cave was dark and the scent of the ocean heady, but it was nothing compared to the scent they made together. Sweat gleamed on his face, his eyes shining like sickly stars in the darkness of the cave. He had some new scars on his face; a long one that bisected the right side of his face, neatly missing his eye and descending down, past the collar of his tunic.

He shifted closer, the stiff collar of his tunic reaching the sharp cut of his jaw. Her sundress clung to her obscenely, but that was all secondary now.

“Where is Knight 13?” Her voice trembled with a need she was finding increasingly difficult to ignore.

“Dead.” His voice was just how she remembered it. Deep, rasping, and rough.

Her pussy gave an unnecessary squeeze.

“I didn’t hit him.” She knew this for a certainty. Knight 13 was always uncannily talented at dodging bullets.

“You did not,” Ben agreed, and his tone would have almost sounded mild were it not for the burning intensity in his eyes.

Rey backed up a step. Loose pebbles shifted on the ground and her legs felt weak and useless. Her blonde hair almost seemed to glow in the darkness, the itch of her tattoos secondary to the itch in her glands. Her shoulder ached horribly and she knew she would likely need to see a doctor before the day was out. 

If she survived, that was. 

He took a step forward to make up for the space she created between them and the sound of the safety disengaging was unbearably loud in the hollow cave.

“That’s close enough.” A tear slid from one eye, but she deigned to ignore it.

Ben did not. He watched with unnerving raptness as the teardrop slid down her face and trailed down her neck, disappearing into the drenched neckline of her dress.

“No it isn’t.” Ben stepped closer, despite her warning, and the gun began to rattle in her hand.

“I won’t go back, Ben. Not alive.”

And she meant it.

“I love what you’ve done with your hair.” He ignored her, eyeing her blonde locks with sincere adoration, and lingering on the tattoos he could see. “So many changes, little Alpha.”

Rey would have laughed if she could. The tears streaming down her face prevented that, as did the terrible cramps in her belly. He had once helped her, hadn’t he? They had once been so utterly desperate for each other and then she had left because that world was not for her. Not anymore.

“Why did you kill Knight 13?” She asked, but really, she knew she was stalling. He did not have a weapon drawn and he was too close for her shot to be nothing but lethal. 

“Why did you shoot the others and not me?” Ben drew even closer until the gun was just inches from his chest.

“You know why.”

Then, they did not move anymore. They stared at each other, each of them drunkenly taking in the changes and similarities to when they last saw each other, over two years ago. Snoke never found out about her first heat. He had not suspected a  _ thing _ , in fact. After her first heat, she and Ben had vowed to never sleep with each other again, only to promptly break that vow less than a week later. And Snoke had never found out about that either - at least, not before she left. He never knew how often one of them left their beds to visit the others in their quarters, almost every single night for that blissful two years.

But that was until Libya. Everything had changed after that.

There was a suspicious gleam in Ben’s eyes now, and though she had never seen this Alpha shed a single tear in all the years she had known him, they were there now, glimmering in his dark eyes like precious jewels. She wanted to lick them off his face, she wanted to tear her dress off and let him have her.

But there was the after to contend with, wasn’t there? Always the after.

“Why did you leave?” His voice echoed back to her off the cave walls, mighty with his rage.

With tears choking her voice, Rey repeated herself again, “You know why.”

He took a sharp breath at that and looked away from her.

“I wanted to ask you to come with me. I did.”

“But you didn’t.” It was flat the way he said it. Sullen.

And it went right through her.

“I knew what would have happened. What you would have done.”

“Oh, do you?” Ben said, suddenly turning back to her with a seething snarl.

Rey did not let his anger shake her resolve. He had to know. If this was the way things were going to end, he had to know first.

“You would have torn them apart,” she choked out, openly crying now. “When I tried to stop them in that village, they turned on me. They nearly  _ killed  _ me, Ben. If you had known before I got away, then they would have killed you too because there were too many of them and only one of you. I couldn’t let you do that for me, so I left.”

He blinked at her, his jaw shifting and his lips folding together. The gun shook madly in her grip, her stomach aching with so many with cramps she could barely keep to her feet anymore.

“Ben,” she began, meaning to tell him to go now. To run and pretend that she got away. Before they both did something they regretted before she was forced to make the impossible decision before her.

But he crossed the space between them, taking the gun from her hand and tossing it somewhere in the cave, never to be found again.

“Shut up,” he said hoarsely and then his hand was in her hair and his mouth was on her gland. 

Rey moaned loudly, tears spilling down her face and his arms around her, holding her to him.

“I’ve got you, little Alpha,” he whispered to her before the blistering inferno took hold of them both.

*

_ Two years ago. _

Rey opened her eyes and frowned when she did not recognize the ceiling above her.

She was in a wood cabin - that much she could see, even through the searing agony in her guts - but it was unfamiliar. Darkness was all that greeted her through a nearby window. It was night, but she had no idea if she had been out for hours, or days. 

The smell of fire and smoked cedar reached her, as pale orange light glowed across the ceiling, but she could not see where the fire was burning. She turned her head, noticing for the first time that there were blankets all around her, in a flawless circular fan. She weakly ran her fingers over the soft fabric and the voice of her heat, that irritating and grating Omega-y wail, released a pleased sigh. 

_ Alpha will take care of us. Alpha has made us the perfect nest.  _

And it was perfect. Just the nest she never knew she needed so badly. She could smell food cooking, in the other room maybe, but that was as far as she got in her observations when cramps seized her lower abdomen and  _ squeezed.  _ She cried out before she could hold it in. Her hands went around her middle, tearing at her thin undershirt as though she had any hope of stopping them. 

A pair of heavy, plodding footsteps entered the room and then there was warmth curling around her. Bare skin touched her arms and she was immediately soothed, though the fire in her blood did not go away. Beechwood and vanilla - god, he smelled like home and safety and sex. He was everything she needed right now. 

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

_ Ben _ . 

He was not wearing a shirt and she noticed a strange thing; he was sweating too. His skin was hot to the touch, like hers, and his eyes were nearly black, his pupils swallowing his irises.

Then, she noticed how much more potent his scent had become.

It was mouth-watering and on instinct she struggled closer to him, whining in a way that would have infuriated her at any other time. He made a low sound when she pushed her face under his jaw to inhale at his gland and then his hand came up to cradle her head, his fingers sifting through her hair and his chest heaving like he had just raced up a hill.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he muttered, darkly. 

She closed her eyes and dared to lick his gland. She needed more, she needed everything he was willing to give her.

_ No I don’t! I don’t need anyone! _

But the voice of her Alpha instincts was weak and feeble now. The other voice overtook everything else, and she found herself babbling before she could stop herself. Her entire body was on fire, her lower abdomen throbbing. She needed relief, she  _ needed  _ to be filled up, for all that painful empty space taken away. 

“Please… help me Alpha,” she moaned, curling in on herself when a fresh set of cramps tore through her. “ _ Please… _ ”

“Shhh, little Alpha. I’ve got you,” he whispered, turning her over so she was on her back on the floor and he was hovering over her. He pulled her shirt over her head and soon they were both naked, their skin pressed together all over. 

In a moment of brief lucidity, Rey peered in between their bodies. 

She knew Ben was large. Like her, he was covered in sweat, his skin flushed red and his eyes black with lust. His muscles gleamed in the weak firelight and she practically purred when she ran a finger from his throat, down his pectorals, and to the trail of hair leading to his…

Rey paused and simply  _ stared  _ at him. Or it, more accurately. He was  _ huge _ and in that moment of clarity she became nervous. Would he fit inside her? Would it hurt? Would she  _ bleed _ ? The head of his cock was red and fat, and that little voice in her head moaned with want. The girth of him was thick, just like the rest of him, and then her gaze trailed down to the heavy sac of his balls and just above it where she saw…

His knot. 

Her cunt spasmed uselessly like she did not already know she was in heat. She moaned both in pain and desire. She vaguely knew about knots - in the past, before The Order and the Knighthood and Alphas began being taken in the night to be brainwashed and made into weapons, male Alphas would knot when they were ready to mate. This was something she had read about once, in one of her books, but it was never something she had experienced first hand. 

His knot was even thicker than his cock, all ruddy and  _ ready _ . Ready for her. And suddenly, she needed him inside of her. Right now. She needed that knot more than she needed air to breathe. 

Ben did not say anything when she gawked down at his cock; he let her look her fill, as he ran his hands reverently over her breasts and down to the gentle swell of her hips. She was practically pouring slick now, the blankets beneath them growing damp with her scent, and Ben - he just -  _ growled.  _

“You’re so wet for me, aren’t you little Alpha?” 

He pressed against her until she could not see his cock anymore. Until all she could see were those black, fathomless eyes and his parted lips. He inhaled her deeply, his chest rumbling with what she first thought of as a growl until she realized that the sound was too continuous. 

He was  _ purring  _ at her. 

The first touch of his cock against her sex, really more of a dragging sensation than anything else, made her cry out hoarsely, her hips arching off the nest and the tendons popping out in her neck. The sound of his cock dragging through her slick was  _ wet _ , and though he did not press inside - not yet - the fat head of his length brushed against her clit and she - 

She was  _ cumming _ , and  _ cumming _ and she could not see anything anymore except white flashing lights on the back of her eyelids. Her throat burned from how hard she was panting for air, and she flexed against him helplessly, lost to the pleasure of his scent and his body cradling hers. 

By the time she came down - seconds? minutes? - later, she already needed more. 

Ben was panting too, the expression on his face a toss-up between needful and awed. 

“Did you just -?”

“More,” she rasped breathlessly and did she just  _ whine  _ at him? She was indignant with herself for exactly the amount of time it took for her to inhale and then she was just needy again. “Please Ben. I need your...”

“I know what you need, little Alpha.” 

Ben seemed so much calmer than her in comparison, but she realized that was only because he was barely hanging on by a thread. His body was utterly  _ taut  _ against hers, each of his muscles tensed. His pupils had entirely overtaken his irises and his hands grasped her just a little too tightly, just on the side of discomfort, but she could not bear to tell him to stop for the world. He pulled his hips back, his hand going down to his cock to line himself up with her entrance. 

They both held their breaths, but Rey only just. She wanted to scream at him to hurry up, to  _ fuck  _ her already, to  _ knot  _ her because she suddenly knew, without knowing how she knew, that his knot was just what she needed. 

But she refrained from doing any of these things because this moment, suspended in between them, felt too raw to disrupt with anything else. Their gazes locked and they just watched one another, each filled up with some emotion that was as alien to them as the concept of friendship, family, or love. Those things meant nothing to Alphas, to  _ Knights _ , but Rey could not deny that there was something more than lust fogging her mind. This felt like…

Destiny. This was exactly where they were supposed to be right now. 

And then it just got better. 

*

_ Present _

She did not remember how they ended up laying down on the ground, on a relatively flat ledge near the underground lake. She did not remember taking their clothes off, or how he had tried to arrange their clothes around them like a nest. 

They were kissing and that was all she cared about. 

Their tongues fought for dominance until she simply gave in and let him fist her hair in his hand, the strands so much shorter than they had been that first time, two years ago. She let him pillage and  _ own  _ her mouth with his tongue because that was what she wanted too. When she moaned with pain at the way he jostled her injured shoulder and at the way her freshly healing tattoos burned, he whispered an apology into her mouth. 

But they did not stop. They couldn’t. 

They were making a mess of each other, his cock leaking onto her belly and slick puddling on the ground between her legs, but neither of them seemed to care. He broke the kiss first and immediately tilted her head to the side to gain better access to her glands. He sucked on one and then the other, as her desperate mewls echoed back to them from the chamber of the cave. 

Teeth scraped against her gland and they both went still, knowing that for him to bite her there, while he was in a rut and she was in heat, would mean something. That there would be no going back from that, one way or another. 

“I missed you,” she told him, with absolutely no forethought at all. What she really meant to say to him was that he could do it, if he wanted. He could  _ bite  _ her and she would be perfectly happy with that. She would be fucking  _ elated _ . She would do anything for him, she would…

But then, she smelt it. A hint of bitterness. 

And she closed her eyes with misery. 

“You have no fucking idea,” Ben spoke into her gland, his large and impossibly hard body trembling against hers, “how  _ much  _ I’ve missed you. I went crazy, Rey. I tore apart the world trying to find you and now…”

Ben was angry. And a whole lot of other things she did not want to acknowledge right now, but she was going to anyway because that was the least she could do. Even though she  _ did  _ know what that felt like, even though she missed him quietly, every night and every day like he was a missing appendage she had unwillingly amputated from herself. 

Rey kissed into his hair and whispered  _ I’m so sorry _ , over and over again until she began to cry. 

Suddenly, Ben was there again. Kissing the tears from her face until they were just kissing again, more passionately than before, and when she felt the head of his cock begin to press inside of her, she knew then that whatever would happen after, right here and now she was home. 

The only home she had ever wanted. 

*

_ Two years ago. _

Fingernails dug into precious skin, sweat-slicked and achingly hot. Lips skipped over cheekbones, jawlines, glands. A burst of that hidden taste flooded her mouth and all she could taste was cinnamon and vanilla, heady, sweet, piquant with pheromones. With him. 

He kissed her then, only once. It was not like the sweet kisses written of in the old Shakespeare plays she once read, nor was it particularly gentle. His patience had run out a while ago and Rey was only too happy to let him do what he wanted to her. He stole her breath with that kiss and her sanity. Her cunt gave one last involuntary spasm and it was as though he could feel it too. That they shared their pain, their want, their desire. 

She moaned wantonly, every fiber of her need pushing out through her teeth. 

“Hush little Alpha. I’ve got you.”

And then, he began to press inside her. 

His eyes were narrowed in concentration, his teeth gritted and the muscles in his back contracting with his movements. She knew this because she was gripping onto him for dear life, and for once in her life she gladly handed over the reins to someone else. 

For a panicked second, she did not think he would fit. Even the head of his cock was thick, pressing against her tight hole with hot, searing pressure. 

Then, slick dripped out of her and he began to slip inside, eased along by the evidence of her need. 

They both moaned at the same time, hers lost in the gland on his throat and his shoved out through clenched teeth. He gained another inch and though there was a strange stretching sensation that caused her some discomfort, the burning in her blood was finally beginning to abate, just a little. She thoughtlessly nibbled on his gland, just for somewhere to vent the rush of heady adrenaline in her, and in response, Ben flexed his hips, with a deep, guttural groan. 

She was so wet by now that he need not worry about slowing his advance and she went to tell him that when her pussy gave an abrupt - and violent - contraction. 

“ _ Fuck _ !” she shouted at the same time he slid in to the hilt. 

Ben moaned deeply, his forehead pressed to her temple and his body caging her in so that they were pressed deeply into the nest. He buried his nose in her hair, withdrawing from her slippery cunt less than an inch before thrusting back into her warm heat. He repeated this motion, pumping his hips in a slow, lingering,  _ shattering  _ rhythm until she did not know her own name anymore, or that she was a Knight for one of the most dangerous secret organizations on the planet, or that they were not supposed to be here, in this cabin. Together. 

But they were. 

“ _ So tight _ ,” he gritted out, his voice little more than rasp and contralto. 

Rey made a sound that might have been his name, but she was not sure anything intelligible came out. 

He tilted into her faster, harder,  _ more.  _ Wet squelches punctuated each thrust, both their thighs and pelvises covered in so much slick, she doubted they would ever come clean. He would be covered in her scent forever and  _ fuck _ didn’t the thought of that make her buck up to meet his stuttering thrusts. She made a bunch of embarrassing, needy sounds, only Ben must not have found them to be so because he lowered his mouth to her ear, nipping her lobe and licking a molten path across her jawline. 

“Yes little Alpha. That’s it,” he growled into the cup of her ear. “You feel so  _ fucking  _ good, дорогой.”

“ _ Ben _ ,” she moaned into his ear, and although she was not in any state of mind to attempt to sound seductive, he moaned at the desperation in her voice. “Harder. Please?”

She did not  _ do  _ begging, but here she was pleading with him to give her more. To give her everything. 

Suddenly, he leaned upon his forearms and then his hips were  _ slamming  _ into hers, his cock burrowing so deep inside she could not tell where he began and she ended. She was so  _ close,  _ teetering on the edge of an unknowable abyss. The burning in her veins had subsided just enough to tease her with the promise of sanity, but lying there, trapped beneath Ben, she almost did not want the end to come. That irrational voice in her mind, firmly manning all the controls now, wanted him to stay inside her forever. To burrow deeper, to etch out a place for himself. 

Ben ran his fingertips over her cheek and then up into her sweaty hair. He groaned, flexing his hips into her and pressing sweetly into her clit. 

But she needed more. She needed him deeper. 

There was something missing, despite the fact that he had given her his cock. She planted her feet on the floor, instincts taking over as she angled her hips just right. It was still a tight fit, stretching her almost beyond capacity, but on the next pump of his hips, there was just the sliver of more space that he needed. 

He slowed his frantic pace, sensing where he needed to go. And then he  _ pushed  _ into her, grinding his hips in gentle circles until -  _ yes.  _

His knot slipped inside and then their hips were flushed together, his balls pressed outside her opening. Rey cried out, her head tilted back as the crest came barreling towards her, her cunt spasming all over Ben’s engorged knot. 

He thrust one, two, three more times - and then he could not slip out of her anymore because suddenly there was too much pressure, just behind her pelvic bone. All the answers to this crushing heat came soaring into her bloodstream and when she came, she  _ roared  _ with it, every nerve ending in her body lighting up and her freckles disappearing from the redness of her skin. 

Ben groaned helplessly above her, his breath leaving him in arduous heaves as he grinded against her. As Rey came down from her own crescendo, she barely had enough time to take a breath before she felt it. His knot pulsed within her and just as a rush of warmth filled her cunt to the brim, Ben cupped her jaw in his large bear-paw of a hand, much the same way he had in the maze all those weeks ago. Only this time, he firmly turned her head until her left gland was bared to him and with a deep rumble of sound, he latched on her gland, first with his lips. 

And then with his teeth. 

Rey never really stood a chance after that. 

She came  _ again,  _ only this time no sound left her lips, which might have been a good thing. Ben did not quite bite  _ down _ , breaking into the gland and sealing them together forever - but she wanted him to. Desperately. That suddenly became more important than vanquishing her heat, but her voice was broken and useless, and when she uttered the words with needling tears in her eyes, he could not hear them. 

_ Please, Alpha. Bite me. Make me yours.  _

Afterwards, when rationality slowly returned, and Ben collapsed on top of her, they breathed into each other’s skin in absolute silence. And while Rey knew she should have been relieved he had not heard her plea, there was a larger - and much more terrified part of her - that wished more than anything that he  _ had _ . 

*

_ Present day. _

Ben began to press inside and Rey just - breathed through it, revelling in the feeling of familiarity. In the feeling of home. 

This was where they were meant to be. Together. One body, one mind, one heart. 

He was gentler this time, like he wanted this to last like he needed to remember every slow inch of her along his length, against his skin, under his tongue. And she did not beg him to hurry because despite the blistering heat twisting her insides to knots, she needed this too. Needed to feel him in every breath she took, in every blink of her eye, and catch of her moans. 

He crushed her against him, his nose sliding against hers and his lips pressing fluttering little kisses to her chin, to her cheeks, and to her lips. She clung to his biceps, all slicked with sweat, and moaned when he gained another inch, reaching the most sensitive part of her. She bucked back just a little, just enough so that on the next lingering thrust of his hips, his knot slipped inside her slippery warmth and together they moaned brokenly in that darkened cave by the ocean. 

“I still have your scent,” Ben told her, his voice that broken and deep Alpha rasp that made her tremble and whimper in a way that might have angered her at any other time. 

But not here, not  _ now _ . She was only light and sensation, only alive in the places where he touched her and made her whole again. 

“Every night, before sleep, I would catch it in the air. You fucking  _ haunted  _ me, Rey. Every day since you left.”

Rey was not at all surprised to find that she was crying again. Ben ran his nose through the tears and licked them up, his voice breaking up into a groan when he pulled out to the tip of his cock and then slowly drove back into her again. 

“Yours too,” Rey barely managed to whimper at him. Her fingernails dug into his haunches when he began to pick up the pace, rocking her along his cock. “But I couldn’t - The Order -”

Ben thrust in one hard lunge and she  _ almost  _ came right then and there, her cunt contracting around his cock with the violence of her need. 

“Fuck The Order,” he whispered harshly, dark eyes flashing with every bit of his designation. 

Rey blinked up at him, her foggy and lust-filled mind trying to latch onto the meaning of his words. And he just paused there, buried inside her, and she was  _ so close _ but he was - he was telling her something important and she…

“What are you saying?” She arched her back, trying to get a little more traction, and his hand went down to her waist to  _ pin  _ her to the ground. 

That fierceness never did leave his eyes, but there was something else there now. A warmth and softness that felt more important to hang onto than reaching her own end. She trembled beneath him, cunt fluttering, and heart slamming so hard in her chest, she was sure he could feel it. She wanted to understand, to  _ believe _ , but he must have caught the hesitation on her face because he made a sound then, deep and unfathomable. 

Slowly, the hand on her waist drifted up, sliding over sweat-slicked ribs, over her breasts and up her arm to grab her hand. She did not resist him as he pulled her hand to him, sliding it between where their chests were pressed together, until she could feel the steady beat of his heart. He stared down at her wordlessly, and when he drew his hand away, she kept hers right where he put it, against the pad of his chest and to the place below that she had laid claim to, two years ago. 

Ben began to move again, gripping one of her legs and drawing it high up on his hip. His cock never left her clenching channel; they were just friction then, aching and yearning, and pulling together in strenuous rhythm until all Rey could focus on was the soft darkness of his eyes and the pounding of his heart beneath her fingers. 

“Wherever you go,” he rasped at her, breathless and panting now that his thrusts had become  _ punishing _ , “I go with you.”

“T-together,” Rey said, just as breathless, just as needful. 

“Always.”

His hips slammed into hers one final time and when the knot bloomed, Rey was lost to that mighty undertow, taken under with nothing to anchor her to this world except the weight of Ben’s body above her, holding and keeping her to him. 

She felt his fingers on her jaw, felt him turning her head to the side, and when his teeth pressed into the aching gland on her throat,  _ this time  _ she found her voice. 

“Do it, Ben. Bite me. Please?”

She barely felt the rumble of his purr before his teeth pressed into her gland and then  _ clenched _ , bursting into the mating gland below. The press of his scent swirled with hers, as something as ancient as time filled Rey to the brim with pleasure and rapture. 

She moaned into his shoulder, her cunt spasming with another orgasm, and it was instinct, pure  _ Alpha  _ need, that had her blindly pressing her mouth to the gland on his throat and biting down. 

And then they were -  _ everywhere _ in each other, scents blending together to form something sweet and light and  _ theirs.  _ Ben roared his orgasm, his teeth ripping out of her gland as she held onto him fast, her own chest rumbling with a purr as he emptied into her again and again. 

When finally her instincts calmed down, she withdrew her teeth and began cleaning the mark. She would have completely missed the words whispered into her bleeding throat had they not been so close to her ear. 

Rey smiled against his neck and whispered back to him, “... you too.”

*

_ Today, Tomorrow and Everyday After _

They were barely dressed, the cave filled up with the light of dawn, and each of them looking like they had gone ten rounds with a grizzly bear. But every time one thought the other was not looking, they would each catch a small, pleased smile on their faces and a lingering touch to the twin bite marks they shared on their throats. 

There was so much more to feel now. His emotions were warm and curled around her like an embrace, and for once - well, Rey just did not want to resist that feeling, no matter what the Alpha half of her brain had to say about it. She was sore in more ways than one, but the cruel insanity of her heat had passed. 

It was not until she watched Ben pull on his jacket that she paused, her own smile fading away. Because it was not going to be as easy as simply sailing off into the sunset together. She knew this first-hand - they could run and run, but eventually the past would catch up with them. 

And Snoke would be right there to greet them, in the end. 

“He will come for us.” 

Rey did not bother clarifying who “he” was and Ben did not bother asking. They both knew who she was talking about, and although the happiness of being mated to one another did not fade away entirely, a pall of unease settled over her all the same. She walked up to Ben, wincing at the jostle of her shoulder, to stop before him. He gazed back down at her with an inscrutable look, just as mercurial as ever. 

But she was beginning to feel things from him now. He was not afraid - not even a little - and Rey could not help but reach out to take his hand like he might lend her some of his strength through the act of touch. 

“He’ll never leave us alone, will he? Not until we’re dead.” 

Ben drew her to him and she just  _ let  _ him, like it was perfectly acceptable for this Alpha to subdue her with the hush of his embrace and the lull of his scent. 

But it  _ was _ okay. Somehow, it was and maybe that was alright. Maybe, they could begin to learn how to lend each other comfort and discover all the ways they could be like a normal couple. Even if they were the farthest thing from. 

“Do you trust me?” he whispered into the fine hairs on her temple. 

“Yes.” She didn’t even have to think about her answer. Not even for a second. 

Ben pressed a soft kiss into her skin and she snuggled closer on instinct, burying her face into the gland on his throat - the very same one she had bitten and claimed as her own. 

“Good.” 

He drew away just enough to meet her eyes and she found that he was smiling at her. Just a little. Just enough. And before he spoke again, she had already begun to hope. 

“I have a plan, голубка.”

*

_ Epilogue _

Rufus Snoke had always been a man of opulence and prestige. 

He enjoyed the finer things in life and fancied himself a shadowy emperor. Though the world would never know his name, though the people of the free world would go on with their blissful ignorance and sugar-coated lives, his name was a talisman in the underworld. A whispered incantation that summoned only the worst nightmares to mind. 

And that was just the way he liked it. 

The compound, nestled in the hills of the Andes and far away from prying eyes, was his empire and what was more fitting than to give the King of the Underworld his own throne? 

Only his Knights and the Elders had the privilege of seeing his throneroom. Panelled in acrylic walls the colour of hell’s fire, with his most loyal of Knights posted around the room, Snoke’s throne sat in the middle. The throne was simple in design and forged from iron. An iron throne for an iron king. 

And kneeling before him was the Knight that had most disappointed him. The Knight he had hunted across the globe for. The Knight who had once been his protege and had now turned traitor. 

Snoke could barely stand to look at her. 

She had cut her hair off and dyed it, defiling the image he had always had of her. She had a steel hoop through her nostril and  _ ink  _ covering her arms. He was sure there were more tattoos elsewhere on her body - her final defiance against him. 

But soon enough none of this would matter. She was about to die. 

Snoke glanced at Knight 1, to where he dutifully kneeled on the floor behind the traitorous Knight 11. He had known his Commanding Knight would find her. It was a shame so many of his other Knights had died in the effort, but they could be easily replaced. 

After her death, he would reward Knight 1 greatly. Perhaps induct him into the Elders Circle early. If Snoke could trust no one else in this world, he placed all his faith in his Commanding Knight. After all, he had tamed this beastly Alpha and molded him into the Knight he was today. 

There was only one more test of loyalty he needed from him. 

“Any last words, Knight 11?”

She murmured something unintelligible and Snoke frowned. 

“Speak up, 11. I cannot hear you.” 

Several of his other Knights snickered, but Knight 1 did not make a sound. In fact, he had not looked up from the floor once, his head bowed in subservience. 

Knight 11 looked up at Snoke and he did not like what he saw. No, not at all. Defiance shone back at him from within those hazel eyes he had once cherished so much. Defiance - and something very much like hope. 

“That isn’t my name,” she told him, strongly and clearly. “It’s Rey. But you knew that, didn’t you? That was the name my parents gave me before you killed them and took that too.”

From within the collar of her shirt, Snoke thought he saw something round and red on her throat, almost like… But no. That was not possible, and in the next second, he dismissed it as a trick of the light. He clenched his fists and  _ almost  _ reacted to her, as she surely wanted him to - but he steadied himself at the last second. She was just vying for more time and he was not going to give it to her. 

“Very well.” Snoke remained seated in his throne and smiled viciously at her. “Execute her, Knight 1. Prove your loyalty to me once and for all.”

After a brief pause, Knight 1 slowly rose to his feet and it was then that the light of hope died from Knight 11’s eyes. And Snoke was glad for it. Whatever nagging sense of doubt he had, whatever small sliver of unease was gone now. The other Knights did not move from their posts, but he could sense their eagerness. The taint of murder filled the air and every single one of them could feel because they were all agents of death, in the end. Each and every single one of his Knights, culled and trained from near infancy in the art of war and destruction. 

Snoke laughed as Knight 11 turned around from where she knelt on the floor to face Knight 1. He could hear her begging him not to kill her, pleading with him not to betray her. 

Silly girl, did she not realize that Snoke owned them all, most of all his Commanding Knight?

From his sheath, Knight 1 withdrew his broadsword and aimed the tip at her throat. However, Snoke did not notice him reach into his jacket with the other hand. He was far too busy delighting in Knight 11’s pitiful begging to see that his own demise was coming for him, in less than five seconds. 

Knight 1 finally met Snoke’s gaze, but it was not subservience that was reflected back at him. Rather, the Knight’s eyes shone with feverish rage, with cunning knowing. Snoke did not have time to rise from his throne or to even call to his other Knights. 

And that sliver of unease blossomed into outright terror. 

“My name isn’t Knight 1,” Snoke’s Commanding Knight told him. “It is Ben Solo.”

A small, silver knife flew through the air, in a movement too fast for Snoke to catch because oh, how he had trained him well. In a spurt of blood, the tiny blade struck Snoke in the throat and when he toppled onto the floor, his hands scrabbling uselessly at the gushing wound and the spark of life dying from his eyes, only then did he know he had been so fully and completely betrayed. 

Rey stood up from the floor, no longer begging, no longer pretending to play the part. She faced her mate, her love, her Alpha and there was only determination in her eyes, only love and bravery. And Ben felt her, deep in his blood. Felt that renewed hope and strength, and fed it all back to her, all without saying a word at all. All in just the tether of their hearts. 

When Ben wordlessly handed her his other blade, they smiled faintly at one another. 

Together, they spun to the other Knights, just as they rushed towards them in a clatter of armour and furious surprise. Rey did not feel any fear, not then and not afterwards, when together, she and Ben burned the compound to the ground and left together for parts unknown, off in search of a small corner of the world to call their own. 

They raised their weapons, back to back, heart to heart, and together, they tore apart the dredges of their past with one united swing of their swords. 

_The End._


End file.
